Lighten Up!

Normal is someone you don't know very well. Anonymous

I have never liked the idea of being considered 'normal'. Normal seems too confining, restrictive, boring. Perhaps it's my Zodiac, (I am a Sagittarius -- whimsical, passionate, mercurial), or perhaps it's just that there was little that was 'normal' about my childhood. We moved across the Atlantic, lived in four different countries, spoke different languages, both my parents worked, I was the youngest of four and, as my siblings will attest, was spoiled -- I got away with everything, they liked to say.

Merriam Webster-Online defines 'normal' as:

2 a: according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle b: conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern
3: occurring naturally 'normal immunity'
4 a: of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development b: free from mental disorder : sane.

Growing up, I could never figure out what normal was. My home often felt 'insane'. I knew anger and tears were not 'normal'. I just didn't know what was the alternative, given the dynamics of those of us living under the same roof. I'd go to friends homes and observe the dynamics amongst their family members and think -- Oh, this is normal.

Truth is. Nothing was 'normal'. I just didn't know what was going on underneath the shiny patina of being in the company of 'outsiders'.

A 'normal' in my home was, Disagreement EQUALS Rejection. If any of my siblings or I chose to disagree with my father, anger blew in swiftly. If we disagreed with my mother, tears flowed quickly.

As an adult, I know, Disagreement DOES NOT Equal Rejection.

But once upon a time, it was normal for me to believe otherwise.

Which is why, for most of my life, I avoided confrontation at all costs. Or at least, backed out of it when the cost got so high I felt unsafe.

See, that was my contradiction. I seldom accepted the status quo. Always questioned the 'abnormal' in the apparent normality of whatever was going on.

My inquisitiveness inevitably rubbed up against discord.

In the 10th lesson of A Course In Miracles, the meditation is on the phrase. "My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world."

Growing up in a household filled with music and anger, laughter and tears, I began to perceive the world to be a contradiction at all times. Thus, it stood to reason that the world was as I perceived it -- unstable, dichotomous, unpredictable, unsafe. Filled with wonder. Filled with joy. Filled with laughter.

The world is filled with unpredictability and wonder. It's filled with joy and sorrow. It's where I focus my thoughts that makes the difference because, reality is, I perceive the world through my thoughts. What I focus my thoughts on, creates the world as I perceive it.

Which brings me back to the concept that 'normal is someone I don't know very well.'

I never wanted to be considered normal. Never wanted to be thought mundane, trivial, inconsequential.

But I didn't know myself well enough to embrace my uniqueness.

As I mature, as I grow into myself, I am seeing my unique self in the light of my knowing, I am a Child of God. A wondrous being on the journey of her lifetime, living it up for all I'm worth.

I don't have to be normal. I simply have to be me. All of me. I simply have to love myself exactly the way I am, and focus on sharing my unique gifts -- because no one else in the world can share the gifts I have exactly the way I do.

And no one else in the world can share your unique gifts exactly the way you do.

The gift of you and me is to be shared. To be celebrated. To be cherished.

If you perceive the world to be a place that does not want your unique gifts, take a look at your thinking. Are you focusing your thoughts on what you fear? Are you creating the world around you as a mirror of your negative thinking?

Lighten up!

Look up!

Listen up!

You are a unique human being. A wondrous miracle of life created to share your unique gifts as only you can.

Live it up!

The question is: Are you stubbornly searching for a 'normal' that doesn't exist and avoiding being your most incredible self? Are you willing to spread your wings and shine your light as only you can?