Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Gentleness in Homelessness

Gentleness is the antidote for cruelty. Phaedrus
It is just a small gesture. He looks at her. Lifts his hand. Touches her cheek. Softly. A gentle touch. Loving. Tender.

Pulling back to the larger view, you expect to see them sitting at a table in a fine restaurant. Or perhaps, in their candlelit dining room.

Pulling back, you see, the room is crowded. People move amongst the tables. Serving plates of food. Every chair is full. There's clatter and chaos and noise and voices arguing and voices speaking in hushed tones. There's activity everywhere, and still, he holds his hand against her cheek. Gently. She closes her eyes. Moves her cheek closer to the palm of his hand.

A quiet intimate moment amidst the chaos of the Day Area of the homeless shelter where I work.

Gentleness amidst the daily grind of making ends meet when there's nothing in the middle to connect the emptiness of a life at the end of poverty.

It is, I think, an unexpected place to find such a small, simple gesture. But then, the unexpected is always happening at a shelter. The unexpected took up residence long ago and hasn't been able to pack its bags since arriving in from the cold, surprised to find itself in this place, lacking all knowledge of how to be, how to get by, how to survive in homelessness.

Another moment. Another tableau.

A woman readies her bed in the Intox area. She's inebriated. Unsteady on her feet. As she stuffs her purse under her pillow, its contents spill out onto the six inch space between the end of her matt and the end of the next one row over. Amongst the spillage, a glass bottle of perfume. It rolls across the concrete floor. The lid falls off and the scent of sickly sweet perfume fills the air. The woman moans. Flops down on her matt. Hangs her head. Starts to cry. Defeated. The act of gathering up spilled perfume too much for her. She surveys the mess. A mascara wand, compact, kleenex, candy wrapper. The perfume leaves a moist trail of evidence between her matt and the next.

Another client, equally as under the influence, stumbles over. In her hand she holds a small teddy bear. It's long past the season, but the bear is still dressed for Christmas. Red bow. Santa hat jauntily set to the side. The woman trips over a matt and almost falls onto the crying woman. She laughs. Rights herself. Stumbles towards her and holds out the teddy bear. "Here," she slurs. "This'll make it better."

And she passes the woman the bear. Her smile as crooked as the bear's Santa hat.

Moments of tenderness. Moments filled with the gentleness of the human spirit sharing what little it has to provide succor to a fellow traveller on this road of life.

I am always touched by these tender moments at the shelter. Touched but not surprised. At the worst of the human condition is always the capacity for human tenderness. For a gentle touch. A shared gift. An expression of caring. Of wanting to make it better for someone else.

It is the human spirit's calling. To be tender. To share its gentleness.

St. Francis de Sales once said, "Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.”

Nothing is so important to the human spirit than to share its gentle nature. To be the whisper of God reminding us of our heritage. To offer its tender soul like a kiss upon the heart that provides solace in the meanest of times, that raises hope in the darkest of times, that lights the path back to our human being through all time.

I see it everyday in this cold, hard place called homeless.

Today is Blog Carnival Tuesday sponsored by Bridget Chumbley of One Word at a Time and Peter Pollock of Rediscovering the Church. Held every second Tuesday, Blog Carnival is an online event open to anyone. The moderator's provide a one-word prompt or topic and you're invited to write, from your heart out, a poem, a piece of prose, a song, a sonnet, a line.

This week's prompt is "gentleness".

Go here to read and be inspired by the contributions from writers all over the world. New entries will be listed throughout the day and sometimes through to the end of the week. My favourite Tuesday night activity is to take my laptop to bed and devour Blog Carnival! It's a sublime evening of great words, thoughtful minds and inspiring writing.

Visit Blog Carnival's FaceBook page here.

18 comments:

Glynn said...

Louise, this is written with such gentle compassion that it berings tears to read it. "When there's nothing the middle to connect the emptiness of a life at the end of poverty." The words themselves ache.

Joyce Wycoff said...

Louise ... gentle words with such a strong message. Sitting surrounded by packing boxes, I feel a gentleness wash through my body reminding me to be gentle in my life and with my life. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

this is part of you from your life that you have allowed me to see.
thank you.

Kathleen Overby said...

Louise, You have Jesus Eyes. They see, and love. That's all. It's everything. I hope Seth Godin takes you on as one of the 11. He would be investing in someone worth investing in. You make a difference.

JoAnne Bennett said...

Oh, my what a touching post Louise. I was especially moved by the way you described with so much gentleness one inebriated woman handing her coveted teddy bear to the "defeated" lady. Such a lesson in compassion.

JoAnne

JoAnne Bennett said...

Oh, my what a touching post Louise. I was especially moved by the way you described with so much gentleness one inebriated woman handing her coveted teddy bear to the "defeated" lady. Such a lesson in compassion.

JoAnne

Anonymous said...

I love that Saint Francis quote.

This is a beautiful post. Full of gentleness, not only by the people in the story... but by the one telling it.

Thank you, Louise.

Unknown said...

There is so much I love about this peek into a world I am unaccustomed to. Your words treat these people with such dignity and grace...and gentleness. I am moved...

Peace,
Jay

S. Etole said...

I can only say "yes" to all of the above ... your gentle heart shows through your words

Deb said...

A beautifully written, heart-warming post that does indeed portray gentleness.

Thank you.

Maureen said...

I've come too late to add much more to all the truth of the comments here. Let me just say that to have eyes that look into what others' eyes turn from, to convey in tender words what your eyes see -- that is a gift, a "fruit of the spirit".

Namaste.

caryjo said...

What a blessing to read this ...

CFloyd said...

Didn't get past your quote from Phaedrus before I had to go write a public apology for my passionate response to pop somebody for their cruelty to a child! But the truth is "hate begets hate" violence begets violence. And that sentiment that gentleness is the "antidote" for cruelty reminded me I can "be angry" but sin so! My anger "does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." God desires gentleness manifesting itself in Love. Like one drunk giving a teddy bear to another. In that moment there was no sin and no sinner, only love expressing itself in kindness. God was more impressed with her expression than with mine. And I am humbled with both your quote and your blog. Lord, make me a more gentle spirit.

Amy Sorrells said...

Louise, so glad you visited my site, for it led me to yours. Beautiful and precious words. And I love your poem from Monday, too. And your golden retriever (we have three!). I'll look for you over at She Writes and hope to follow you and your heart more here. Writing mercies and blessings!

Rich Dixon said...

What a cool picture--gentle isn't in the big events, but it's the big thing in the small events.

That's a thought to carry with me. Thanks.

Fatha Frank said...

Wow. Moved to tears. Thank you for your compassion to serve.

Jeff Jordan said...

Glad I finally got to read this...sorry so late, but for me it was worth the wait.
Jeff

Sandra Heska King said...

Oh, Louise. This is achingly beautiful. Thank you for sharing these touching scenes so gently. I want to be the whisper of God in others' hard places.