Saturday, May 19, 2012

In the comfort of not moving

It is Saturday. A day of relaxation. Togetherness. Shopping. Errands. going to the market on our list of 'to do's'. Getting dinner ready to share with friends.

C.C. came home last night. He is still travelling back and forth from Saskatoon. Still organizing 'the move'.

But now, it's a move in the opposite direction. Where we had talked about my moving there, we've agreed it makes more sense for him to move his Head Office here, sooner, rather than later.

At least, that's the goal. That's the target, the destination, the view from here.

I am...


I was willing, and able to go. Excited about a new adventure. Eager to be together again on a daily basis.

Not moving from here opens different doors, other possibilities.

It gives me time and space and opportunity to settle back into being present without worrying about clearing and packing and shuffling and setting up all over again. It gives me space to create anew. Rather than endings, I see beginnings.

Not moving, physically, gives me room to be okay with being here without feeling urged, or feeling like I must, make being there... okay.

It was a big decision, the decision to move.

It is not a 'big' decision to stay as much as a choice to simply not move. This is home. And for both of us, here is where we want our home to be.

I am...


And on this cloudy, moody Saturday morning, I am at ease in this place where I sit at my desk in my office, looking out the window at a world of colour exploding with greenery and pink blossoms. Music plays softly, Olafur Arnalds -- Eulogy for Evolution. It is on my playlist of "Music to write by". Coffee cools in my mug, the motor of the pump in the fishtank hums softly. In the bedroom on the other side of the wall behind me, C.C. sleeps in our bed, Ellie, the wonder pooch, curled up on one side beside him, Marley the great cat on the other.

This is the beginning of my day. Soft, gentle feelings of being at home. Of being at ease and comfortable in my life.

I am grateful and content.

I am at ease.

How's your Saturday?

Here's a little Olafur Arnalds to immerse your day in comfort and grace.


On The Way said...

Just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to stop by to say thank you for sharing your joy of life with the blogging world. Joy is a feeling a little unfamiliar to me right now but perhaps one day I'll make it.
Anyway, I'll be following and hope that you had a good Saturday. Mine has also been cloudy (even though I'm half a world away from where you are) and I have also had a coffee cup beside me as I prepare a guest blog for Mental Health Awareness Week (from Monday). Typical procrastination and uncertainty about what to write found me here but I'm glad I did.
Take care,

Anonymous said...


your bit this morning triggers memories for me, 14 yrs ago as I contemplated marriage #2, she was moving from Calgary to Edmonton - and then, she pulled a switch of plans, requesting I move to Calgary - which has made so many changes in my life (yes, that marriage would have likely failed whether she moved to Edmonton or not), so my point is rooted more in the marvelous changes the move has produced for me professionally and personally - that never would have happened had I not moved.

So, how can this connect to you? My suggestion, given all the changes you have been contemplating with respect to your move to Saskatoon - changes that would stretch you and express you in new ways, grab hold of those and make those stretches and changes anyway ... as if you moved, as if you implemented them because, if you don't, they won't happen and then you risk having your life unchanged, un-moved and no more than it was when you KNOW it can be much more!

Having said all that, Saskatoon's loss will be Calgary's gain ... as you plot your next chapter, right here!



Louise Gallagher said...

I am so grateful you stumbled in, On My Way -- you lead me to your place -- wow!

I hope to see you again. I'm not writing here everyday -- but I am writing over at A Year of making a difference every day -- and last week -- I wrote about depression!

Hugs. keep shining. the light shines brightest in the darkness.

Thank you!

Louise Gallagher said...

You know Mark -- sometimes you make such perfect sense it's scary!

LOL -- and scary is the best place to move into fearlessness!

You my friend.... make sense.

Bet you never thought you'd hear a woman say that to you! :) just teasing.

And.... just so I say it publicly -- congratulations on your baby granddaughter!!!! Yeah!

Jennifer Richardson said...

i feel the relief
and for
all the way across the lines
and I rest back easy
in my own chair
over the peaceful pause
in motion
and how you're still moving forward
even as you're staying still.
inspiring, that:)
thanks for shining so bright,

Nikky44 said...

I wish and pray you will always know peace, calm and Joy in your life Louise. I so appreciate your support and all the positive energy I am finding in your words. Much love

Anonymous said...

I am relieved as well! So glad that you will be staying and telling the Calgary stories to inspire many.

S. Etole said...

Your words paint the picture of contentment. Hope your day is doubly blessed.

Anonymous said...

And I'm absolutely ecstatic that you're not moving......

You're a dear friend and I thank you for that. Jane xo