It is Saturday. A day of relaxation. Togetherness. Shopping. Errands. going to the market on our list of 'to do's'. Getting dinner ready to share with friends.
C.C. came home last night. He is still travelling back and forth from Saskatoon. Still organizing 'the move'.
But now, it's a move in the opposite direction. Where we had talked about my moving there, we've agreed it makes more sense for him to move his Head Office here, sooner, rather than later.
At least, that's the goal. That's the target, the destination, the view from here.
I was willing, and able to go. Excited about a new adventure. Eager to be together again on a daily basis.
Not moving from here opens different doors, other possibilities.
It gives me time and space and opportunity to settle back into being present without worrying about clearing and packing and shuffling and setting up all over again. It gives me space to create anew. Rather than endings, I see beginnings.
Not moving, physically, gives me room to be okay with being here without feeling urged, or feeling like I must, make being there... okay.
It was a big decision, the decision to move.
It is not a 'big' decision to stay as much as a choice to simply not move. This is home. And for both of us, here is where we want our home to be.
And on this cloudy, moody Saturday morning, I am at ease in this place where I sit at my desk in my office, looking out the window at a world of colour exploding with greenery and pink blossoms. Music plays softly, Olafur Arnalds -- Eulogy for Evolution. It is on my playlist of "Music to write by". Coffee cools in my mug, the motor of the pump in the fishtank hums softly. In the bedroom on the other side of the wall behind me, C.C. sleeps in our bed, Ellie, the wonder pooch, curled up on one side beside him, Marley the great cat on the other.
This is the beginning of my day. Soft, gentle feelings of being at home. Of being at ease and comfortable in my life.
I am grateful and content.
I am at ease.
How's your Saturday?
Here's a little Olafur Arnalds to immerse your day in comfort and grace.